Thunder Hippo: Fastest Kratom For Sale on Planet Earth!

Howdy Partner! This is a Quick-one!

Quickdraw Puddles (that's Me) certainly does not mean to indicate this Story will be short-lived.

The FASTEST Kratom for sale Online is THUNDER HIPPO.

  • Hyper Hippo is #1 Most Sold. (Green Maeng Da)
  • Rockstar Hippo is #2 Most Sold. (White Maeng Da)
  • Thunder Hippo is #3 Most Sold. (White Malaysian) 

Puddles isn't surprised to see 3 Fast Strains in the Top 3.

But how is a Diamond White Malay (Thunder Hippo) on the podium instead of Red or Yellow Maeng Da? 

ONE REASON —  Thunder Hippo is the Fastest Kratom Leaf on Planet Earth.

 Thunder Hippo Image

Thunder Hippo
Happy Hippo's #1 Non-Maeng Da Kratom
(Clean Energy - Without the Jitters!)

The Most Popular Kratom Strains for sale Online are Fast

(Young Humans, 21-34 Years, prefer to buy the Fast Kratom Experience)

"Live Fast - Die Young"

This saying is catchy but Puddles prefers → Live Fast - Live Long. 

If you had to take a wild guess, you may think most Hippo Clients are over 45 years old since they have a higher chance of being Hippies. (Kratom Tree Huggers)

In reality - 

  • 60% of Hippo Clients are between ages 21 and 34.
  • 15% of Hippo Clients are between ages 35 and 45.
  • 25% of Hippo Clients are between ages 46 and 100. 

Most Buy Fast Kratom Strains because they are the best for Stimulation or Productivity. 

In addition, Fast Strains also help Humans to possess a Pro-Social Vibe or "Air". 

An elevated sense of Awareness or Mental and Physical Energy pays dividends regardless of Age.

However Thunder Hippo, the Fastest Kratom Leaf, is not the standard recommendation for a Newbie that writes us a letter asking:

What is the Best Happy Hippo Kratom Powder for Relaxing Discomfort (Not Pain Relief, Discomfort!)?

Without a shadow of a doubt that has to go to a Slow Kratom Leaf such as Red Bentuangie.
(Puddles favorite Kratom Product = Magic Hippo)

As we learned, Hippos (age: 21-34) dominate the ranks. 

This demographic has the most Energy and they want even more Energy.

Fast Kratom Leaf will forever remain King.

Fun Fact: Puddles Hippo is 6 Years old and he actually prefers the Slow and Moderate Leafs.

How Do We Know Thunder Hippo is Really High-Quality Leaf?

Maeng Da Kratom Powder is always a popular purchase.

So - Hyper Hippo and Rockstar Hippo are expected be at the top. 

White Malaysian Leaf is not popular at all outside of Happy Hippo. Yet Thunder Hippo is a dominate Kratom Strain.

By logic, Red Hot Hippo (Red Maeng Da) and Sunshine Hippo (Yellow Maeng Da) should also be More Popular than Thunder Hippo. 

Puddles did the research on the Kratom Industry at-large (Facts applicable to all Kratom Vendors and these are the findings:

  • Malaysian Kratom is WAY-LESS-POPULAR than all Maeng Da Strains. 
  • Bali Kratom is the 2nd Most Popular Kratom Tea and its Benefits are enjoyed about 4 times as often as Malay Kratom.
  • Green Malay Kratom is actually 20 times more searched on the Internet than White Malaysian.
    * That's like saying Elite Elephant (Green Malay) is 20 times more popular than Thunder Hippo (White Malay). 

Buy Kratom Online from a Vendor that learns the in's-and-out's of this magical Kratom Plant by listening to your feedback.

Happy Hippo Herbals is an entirely different world and we hope you enjoy living in it with us.

The highest-quality Kratom Strains will always rise to the top at Happy Hippo, regardless of their Vein Color or Origin. 

Lightning Puddles Hippo

Fast Strains (especially Fast, non-Maeng Da Leaf) are notorious for aggravating nerves.
We proceed very cautiously before releasing a Fast Strain.
Thunder is fantastic.

What to Expect from Thunder Hippo (Malaysian Superior Diamond)

(Best Kratom Powder for Energy)

Clean Energy. More Clean Energy. Even More Clean Energy.

Clean Enthusiasm. More Clean Enthusiasm. Even More Clean Enthusiasm!

Most the find Energy and Enthusiasm in Fast Strains.

We are strictly talking about non-Kratom Extract products. Buy natural Kratom powder for the clean Energy.

Thunder Hippo comes from a natural Kratom Tree and is as Fast as it gets.

The ideal Fast Kratom Experience promotes Productivity, Motivation, and a real desire to Socialize. 

An innate desire to "Clean Your Room" is a hallmark of positive Physical Energy from Thunder Hippo. 

Cleaning-up your surroundings or environment is therapeutic so in an inadvertent way Fast Leaf can make you Happy just like Slow Leaf!

If you're a newbie to Thunder Hippo we suggest considering a lower dose (serving-size) for starters.

Fast Kratom Powder can require a lower Kratom Dosage

There IS such a thing as too much Energy and Puddles likes to refer to this as "Jitterbugs"!

You can all but guarantee to avoid these Nerves by keeping your Kratom Powder Dosage lower than your standard serving size.

How much to Take as a complete Newbie?

  • New Kratom Users (Or, Anyone inexperienced with Fast Kratom Strains) Start here: 
    • Totally New Female Hippos = Start @ 0.50 Gram, or less
    • Totally New Male Hippos = Start @ 1.00 Gram

Remember, one-size-doesn't-fit-all, determining your serving size can be a process of trial and error.

'How Much Kratom Should I Take' is a never ending question.

"Less is More"

It is always better to take 'too little' than too much.

Happy Hippo Fast Kratom Strain Speed Chart
Only Kratom Online Faster than White Maeng Da: Thunder Hippo (White Malaysian)

Where can You Buy the Fastest Kratom Strain Online? 

Fast is the most popular type of Kratom Strain in the United States.

  • Thunder Hippo will always be close to #1.

If you rotate multiple Happy Hippo Kratom Powders, odds are - at least half are Fast Strains.

Hint: Buy Kratom at Happy Hippo!

Since Thunder Hippo's alkaloid content differs considerably from Maeng Da, it will allow you to have a well-rounded Kratom Rotation that is not dependent on Maeng Da for Energy.

Malaysian Superior Diamond is quite simply a stand-out Leaf.
(We could not have predicted Thunder Hippo's popularity upon release in 2018)

In case you were wondering - 'Diamond' implies High-End White Vein Kratom (Mitragyna Speciosa).

Puddles gets that question fairly often.

Buckle-up and enjoy Thunder HippoThe Best Kratom Online for Energy!

Your Fastest Friend,

~ Quickdraw Puddles Hippo 

Thunder Hippo 2018 Awards
- 2018: Best New Strain (Most Popular)
- 2018: Best New Fast Strain (Most Popular)
- 2018: Highest-rated New Strain
- 2018: Highest-rated New Fast Strain

- Thunder Hippo is the biggest contributor to our Super Fast "CUSTOMER-SERVICE & SAME DAY SHIPPING" Reputation!
- All Orders prior to 6PM EST Ship Same Day, Buy Kratom Online at the speed of Sound!


Jordan Pro-Tip: All-time Best Combo is 2:1 Ratio of Thunder Hippo and Magic Hippo = Lil' Happy Big Energy
"Jordan Hippo" joined the Team earlier this year and is leading our Happy Hippo Snapchat.
He is not from Southeast Asia but he is from the South. Not Alabama, Arkansas, or Texas.
Jordan is another Louisiana Boy. His favorite Hippo-themed catchphrase is "Stay Happy My Friend".

Thunder Hippo isn't available in Kratom Capsules. Is there a demand for this? Let Puddles and Jordan know!
Happy Hippo Capsules are GMP-Approved by the American Kratom Association (not the Food and Drug Administration). 
Comments that request or reference medical advice, conditions or related cannot be approved.


Cozy Chocolate Hippo: Red Bentuangie Kratom Benefi...
Mellow Yellow Hippo - Rare Yellow Vein Kratom (Yel...

Comments (36)

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Hey puddles, Why are the kilos soooooooooo expensive?
Not complaining or anything, just wondering?
1st time buyer (from here), 4ever customer.
Ive tried many many places until I found you guys

Aphex Twin
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

James Chavez try the Atomic Green. I personally think it is very close to the Thunder and very fast. I think Dynamite is up there as well. I find the solution sometime with fast strains when looking for energy is to take smaller (yes smaller)doses than normal. You can always increase the amount in 30 or 60 mins if it does not meet your expectation. Many of my friends love the Dong but personally I think Atomic is one of the fastest.

Unfortunately, we must realize that in nature everything is not 100% consistent. Growing seasons, rainfall, soil conditions etc all can affect the plant. I have had a previous experience with a Hippo Strain that was incredible when I first ordered it. The 2nd batch was good, but not incredible like the 1st batch. However, the next time I ordered it was exceptional again.

I hope this helps my friend. I'm sure the Hippos have some recommendations for you as well.

Obi Wan - A Hippo Nobi
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I would definitely buy Thunder in capsules!

I like having capsules available for when I'm travelling, or if I'm out and mixing powder isn't convenient....

honestly - I think you should offer the top 3 fast, top 3 moderate, and top 3 slow strains in capsules. I would purchase them all!

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

We'll work on this, Jay!

Kratom Capsules are a larger "downpayment" than Kratom Powder.

There's a reasonably significant lead time on making this purchase.

Whenever we put the Capsule Order in for Processing, it can take upwards of 3 Months to actually get on our shelf.

Crazy! We know...

But, let a little more time go by and Happy Hippo will have 10+ Hippo Brands available in Capsule-form. Promise.

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Jen try adding your Hippo Strain to 1 cup or more of 100% grapefruit juice and blend. Yum!! It taste wonderful and you will soon find that you enjoy this delicious mixture. Blending is best. But, you can also use Outkast Hippo's favorite method and "shake it like a polaroid picture". Grapefruit juice is also a great potentiator - better effects and longer duration. This should address any bitterness issues and you will have more control over dosage.

"Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor!" - Outkast HIppo

Obi Wan Hippo Nobi
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Obi Hippo,

Would you like to see a Potentiator as a Hippo Product? We're in discussion for this!

Puddles thinks its more-or-less a "No Brainer".

It's just something we haven't had the ability to put into motion, but now-is-the-time!

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

What strain is best for "Discomfort" and "Trouble-Sleeping"

Comment was last edited about 1 month ago by Puddles Hippo Debbie
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Hey Debbie (heart)

For "discomfort" and "trouble-sleeping", try Bali Hippo, it always helps me with "trouble-sleeping" and "discomfort", especially the day after a night out at the bar, Bali Hippo seems to help a ton with "getting me out of bed in the morning" after being at the bar all night (heart)

Which also helps with the "discomfort" I get after waking up after being at the bar all night :)

However, for other types of "discomfort", (and also my #1 favorite strain) try White Horned Rhino! :P

(text from a friend last sunday):

hey mike(: last night was [details] haha but was awesome from that kreetom [lol, kratom] powder <3 thanks again, let's do it again soon, i think [name]&[name] are coming to landy [landmark (bar)] tonight!

It's great for right when you wake up in the morning :P

- mike c

Mike C
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Please let us know what ends up resonating the best for you, given all of this advice from fellow Hippos, Deb!

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Debbie, since you specified "discomfort" AND "trouble sleeping" I personally would rate White Horned Rhino #1. I feel Rhino is one of the most underrated and exceptional HH strains. I would rate Smiley #2. Red Dragon and Mellow Yellow are also very good. Although Red Dragon probably slower/better for sleep. I also would suggest considering a Rhino/Smiley blend or Smiley/Cozy (which is exceptional). If your not afraid to experiment with moderates I find Ghost and Happy Hippo 1 to be very good.

I don't think you can go wrong with Rhino or Smiley. Hopefully others will post their favorites for these concerns. Please post and let us all know of your experience and what worked for you.

Obi Wan
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Whoops just read this -- just replied to Debbie also about White Horned Rhino --

-- never had someone else have it be their #1 strain except you! When Puddles Hippo writes a post about it, I'm uploading my notes as a screenshot or something to it cause i LOVE white horned rhino (heart)

It literally sounds like we're marketing/work for happyhippo and that this sounds fake and over the top haha :D

I guess Hippo's will see when they try it why we're so hype about it ;)

- Mike C

Mike C
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Yes, capsules.
Obviously, you shouldn't have to be told this.

Bobby Cecere
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Howdy Bobby,


We will have 6 different Hippo Brands available via Kratom Capsules (within the next 30 days).

Thunder Hippo won't be an option until the next load-up, but we wanted to confirm which Kratom Strains we do expect!

Green Maeng Da - (Hyper Hippo)
White Maeng Da - (Rockstar Hippo)
Green Bali - (Top Shelf Bali)
Super Green Malay - (Elite Elephant)
Red Vein Indo - (Happy Hippo 2)
Yellow Vietnam - (Wild Golden/Yellow Hippo)

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

I use k primarily for the relief from discomfort of the slower strains, but I could really use the "clean your room" kind of energy. Is there a strain that might help with both desires? Thanks in advance!

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site


We are on the lookout. PUDDLES PROMISES!

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

haha sounds good, i can email you where i get it from and you can try their source

gram for gram its not as strong as happyhippo, meaning their strains

but their white bali “white panda” is very strong, always hits, is perfect for “i-dont-know-what-strain-to-use-so-im-gonna-pick-a-random-one”

Mike C
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Hiya Beansprout Barb,

Love your Handle. BB!

Is there a strain that might help with both desires? Thanks in advance!

Moderate Kratom Strains tend to be the best-of-both-worlds.

The most Balanced strains tend to be any of the following: Happy Hippo 1, Elite Elephant, Pleasant Green Hippo.

If you'd like Balance but lean towards wanting a little more Energy than Help-With Discomfort: Ghost Hippo, Roaring White Hippo, Roadrunner Hippo

If you'd like Balance but lean towards wanting a little more Help-With Discomfort instead of Energy: Happy Hippo 2

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Quick pro-tip for thunder hippo: take in the morning and wait to see how it feels BEFORE drinking caffeine (think)

^Not doing that is a great way to end up getting the "jitterbugs" and not knowing what it's from, has happened fairly often to me and the hippos around me when trying new fast strains

(in ~4years daily kratom 'lifestyle': pleasant green hippo can take away any "jitterbugs" no matter what strain you've previously had, and is the strain least used to "cut" other strains/mix other strains with. no clue why, it's #1 for newbies (all the hippos around me are "newbies" i.e. only experience kratom when theyre around me or on the weekends)

- Mike

Mike C
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Pleasant Green Hippo (Green Sumatra) is very underrated.

Puddles is somewhat under the impression that this may be due to its Brand Name.

While we believe "Pleasant" is an accurate tone for the Leaf, it is not very Sexy.

That being said, we're fine with having underrated leafs. They are generally a 'Pleasant Surprise' and that's nice to have in your Kratom Lifestyle.

Puddles Hippo
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

i actually dig the name its perfectly fitting- i think a blog post and and email linking to the blog post about Pleasant Green Hippo might help

but people tend to go for what the “hype” is (like anything in life) which is always maeng da or bali / and red strains

newbies buy the beginner pack (like i did 4 years ago) and get slow-mod-fast of popular leafs

not anything underrated etc

its just something Hippo’s will have to try eventually

—but white horned rhino is still the #1 underrated leaf, and my absolute favorite

its impossible to experience it, especially in the morning, and not reorder it

- mike c

Mike C
This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

Bean Sprout I would strongly Ghost or Roadrunner if you need discomfort relief and clean your room energy. I also really like Sky (now unfortunately called Roaring White). Notice that all 3 of these are white vein varieties. If you are looking for a fast strain that also provides good discomfort relief I would recommend Red Hot Hippo or Rockstar. Both of these strains have been excellent recently, however both seem fairly potent so if your looking for more of an energy boost I would recommend starting with a lower dose and working up if need be. I think you'll be happy with Ghost. You could also blend a fast strain with Rhino. I hope this helps, let us know which strain works for you.

This comment was minimized by the moderator on the site

"Obi Hippo" knows how to use his on-brand Hippo Force for good.

Puddles Hippo
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