Howdy Partner! This is a Quick-one!
Quickdraw Puddles (that's Me) certainly does not mean to indicate this Story will be short-lived.
The FASTEST Kratom for sale Online is THUNDER HIPPO.
Hyper Hippo is #1 Most Sold. (Green Maeng Da)
Rockstar Hippo is #2 Most Sold. (White Maeng Da)
Thunder Hippo is #3 Most Sold. (White Malay Kratom)
Puddles isn't surprised to see 3 Fast Strains in the Top 3.
But how is Thunder Hippo on the podium as one of the best Kratom Strains for sale instead of Red or Yellow Maeng Da?
ONE REASON — White Malay Kratom (THUNDER HIPPO) is the Fastest Kratom Leaf on Planet Earth.
Happy Hippo's #1 Non-Maeng Da Kratom
(Clean Energy - Without the Jitters!)
The Best-Sold Kratom Strains Online are 'Fast'
(Young Humans, 21-34 Years, prefer to buy the Fast Kratom Experience)
"Live Fast - Die Young"
This saying is catchy but Puddles prefers → Live Fast - Live Long.
If you had to take a wild guess, you may think most Hippo Clients are over 45 years old since they have a higher chance of being Hippies. (Kratom Tree Huggers)
In reality -
- 60% of Hippo Clients are between ages 21 and 34.
- 15% of Hippo Clients are between ages 35 and 45.
- 25% of Hippo Clients are between ages 46 and 100.
Most Buy Fast Kratom Strains because they are the best for Stimulation or Productivity.
In addition, Fast Strains also help Humans to possess a Pro-Social Vibe or "Air".
An elevated sense of Awareness or Mental and Physical Energy pays dividends regardless of Age.
However Thunder Hippo, the Fastest Kratom Leaf, is not the standard recommendation for a Newbie that writes us a letter asking:
What is the Best Happy Hippo Kratom Powder for Relaxing Discomfort (Not Pain Relief, Discomfort!)?
As we learned, Hippos (age: 21-34) dominate the ranks.
This demographic has the most Energy and they want even more Energy.
Fast Kratom Leaf will forever remain King.
Fun Fact: Puddles Hippo is 6 Years old and he actually prefers the Slow and Moderate Leafs.
How Do We Know Thunder Hippo is Really High-Quality Leaf?
Maeng Da Kratom Powder is always a strong Strain purchase.
So - Hyper Hippo and Rockstar Hippo are expected be at the top.
White Malaysian Leaf is not popular at all outside of Happy Hippo. Yet Thunder Hippo is a dominate Kratom Strain.
By logic, Red Hot Hippo (Red Maeng Da) and Sunshine Hippo (Yellow Maeng Da) should also be More Popular than Thunder Hippo.
Puddles did the research on the Kratom Industry at-large (Facts applicable to all Kratom Vendors and these are the findings:
- Malaysian Kratom is WAY-LESS-POPULAR than all Maeng Da Strains.
- Bali Kratom is the 2nd Most Popular Kratom Tea and its Benefits are enjoyed about 4 times as often as Malay Kratom.
- Green Malay Kratom is actually 20 times more searched on the Internet than White Malaysian.
* That's like saying Elite Elephant (Green Malay) is 20 times more popular than Thunder Hippo (White Malay).
Buy Kratom Online from a Vendor that learns the in's-and-out's of this magical Kratom Plant by listening to your feedback.
Happy Hippo Herbals is an entirely different world and we hope you enjoy living in it with us.
The highest-quality Kratom Strains will always rise to the top at Happy Hippo, regardless of their Vein Color or Origin.
Fast Strains (especially Fast, non-Maeng Da Leaf) are notorious for aggravating nerves.
We proceed very cautiously before releasing a Fast Strain.
Thunder is fantastic.
What to Expect from Thunder Hippo
(White Malay Kratom's Effects, Reviewed!)
Clean Energy. More Clean Energy. Even More Clean Energy.
Clean Enthusiasm. More Clean Enthusiasm. Even More Clean Enthusiasm!
Most the find Energy and Enthusiasm in Fast Strains.
We are strictly talking about non-Kratom Extract products. Buy natural Kratom powder for the clean Energy.
Thunder Hippo comes from a natural Kratom Tree and is as Fast as it gets.
The ideal Fast Kratom Experience promotes Productivity, Motivation, and a real desire to Socialize.
An innate desire to "Clean Your Room" is a hallmark of positive Physical Energy from Thunder Hippo.
Cleaning-up your surroundings or environment is therapeutic so in an inadvertent way Fast Leaf can make you Happy just like Slow Leaf!
If you're a newbie to Thunder Hippo we suggest considering a lower dose (serving-size) for starters.
Fast Kratom Powder can require a lower Kratom Dosage.
There IS such a thing as too much Energy and Puddles likes to refer to this as "Jitterbugs"!
You can all but guarantee to avoid these Nerves by keeping your Kratom Powder Dosage lower than your standard serving size.
How much to Take as a complete Newbie?
- New Kratom Users (Or, Anyone inexperienced with Fast Kratom Strains) Start here:
- Totally New Female Hippos = Start @ 0.50 Gram, or less
- Totally New Male Hippos = Start @ 1.00 Gram
Remember, one-size-doesn't-fit-all, determining your serving size can be a process of trial and error.
'How Much Kratom Should I Take' is a never ending question.
"Less is More"
It is always better to take 'too little' than too much.
Only Kratom Online Faster than White Maeng Da: Thunder Hippo (White Malaysian)
Where can You Buy White Malay Kratom?
Fast is the most popular type of Kratom Strain in the United States.
- Thunder Hippo will always be close to #1.
If you rotate multiple Happy Hippo Kratom Powders, odds are - at least half are Fast Strains.
Hint: Buy Kratom at Happy Hippo!
Since Thunder Hippo's alkaloid content differs considerably from Maeng Da, it will allow you to have a well-rounded Kratom Rotation that is not dependent on Maeng Da for Energy.
Malaysian Superior Diamond is quite simply a stand-out Leaf.
(We could not have predicted Thunder Hippo's popularity upon release in 2018)
In case you were wondering - 'Diamond' implies High-End White Vein Kratom (Mitragyna Speciosa).
Puddles gets that question fairly often.
Buckle-up and enjoy Thunder Hippo — The Best Kratom Online for Energy!
Your Fastest Friend,
~ Quickdraw Puddles Hippo
Thunder Hippo 2018 Awards
- 2018: Best New Strain (Most Popular)
- 2018: Best New Fast Strain (Most Popular)
- 2018: Highest-rated New Strain
- 2018: Highest-rated New Fast Strain
- Thunder Hippo is the biggest contributor to our Super Fast "CUSTOMER-SERVICE & SAME DAY SHIPPING" Reputation!
- All Orders prior to 6PM EST Ship Same Day, Buy Kratom Online at the speed of Sound!
Jordan Pro-Tip: All-time Best Combo is 2:1 Ratio of Thunder Hippo and Magic Hippo = Lil' Happy Big Energy
"Jordan Hippo" joined the Team earlier this year and is leading our Happy Hippo Snapchat.
He is not from Southeast Asia but he is from the South. Not Alabama, Arkansas, or Texas.
Jordan is another Louisiana Boy. His favorite Hippo-themed catchphrase is "Stay Happy My Friend".
Thunder Hippo isn't available in Kratom Capsules. Is there a demand for this? Let Puddles and Jordan know!
Happy Hippo Capsules are GMP-Approved by the American Kratom Association (not the Food and Drug Administration). Comments that request or reference medical advice, conditions or related cannot be approved.